


Lance Sucks, Ask Keith

by orphan_account



Series: The group chat fics (All based off of real conversations) [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, back at it again with the group chat fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 16:20:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9828962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Back at it again. I'm Lance, Denny is Keith, Stella is Pidge (again), Cole is Shiro and Alex (I know like 5 Alexes wtf) Is Hunk. (Yay the whole crew based off real people this time, no adlibbing just to involve them)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Back at it again. I'm Lance, Denny is Keith, Stella is Pidge (again), Cole is Shiro and Alex (I know like 5 Alexes wtf) Is Hunk. (Yay the whole crew based off real people this time, no adlibbing just to involve them)

To Form Voltron (10:36 am)

 **DesignatedSpaceDad** : This chat is dead

 **Papa_Caliente** : Just like you :’)

 **DesignatedSpaceDad** : Omf why

 **Papa_Caliente** : *Sunglasses emoji*

 **Papa_Caliente** : Because I suck

 **Papa_Caliente** : Ask Keith

 **Papa_Caliente** : Wait fuck

 **Papa_Caliente** : Not like that

 **Papa_Caliente** : NOT LIKE THAT  
  
**Techsexual** : Eyeliner in eye

 **Techsexual** : It hurts

 **Keith** : Boi

 **Techsexual** : So bad

 **Papa_Caliente** : Rip

 **Techsexual** : *Lenny face*

 **Techsexual** : Ask Keith

 **Keith** : ASK KEITH NOTHING  
  
**Techsexual** : Keith~

 **Papa_Caliente** : N O T L I K E T H A T

 **Techsexual** : We’ve all been waiting for this moment

 **Keith** : OMF

 **Papa_Caliente** : N  
           O  
           T  
  
            L  
           I  
            K  
           E  
  
           T  
          H  
           A  
            T

 **Techsexual** : Where is Shiro

 **Techsexual** : Come help

 **Keith** : L

    I  
    K  
    E  
  
    W  
    H  
    A  
    T

 **Techsexual** : S

     U

     C

    C

 **Hunka-hunka** : Same

 **Keith** : L

    O

    L

 **Papa_Caliente** : THE OTHER CHAT KEITH

 **Techsexual** : Hi Hunk!

 **Keith** : What

 **Keith** : I’M A SLOW PERSON WHAT

 **Keith** : LANCE

 **Papa_Caliente** : *picture message: a different group chat*

 **Keith** : OHHHH

 **Keith** : FUCKIN

 **Techsexual** : At least you didn’t deny it

 **Keith** : Because

    I

    Didn’t

    Know

    What

     We

     Were

     Talking

    About

 **Techsexual** : Hot

      Glue

      Kink

 **Papa_Caliente** : This

             Chat

              Is

            A

            Fucking

           Mess

 **Techsexual** : On snapchat Lance said he wants to hot glue your nipples

 **Techsexual** : Or “Nips”

 **Papa_Caliente** : I WILL HOT GLUE YA NIPS KEITH

 **Techsexual** : Render him speechless

 **Papa_Caliente** : I know his kinks well *lenny face*

 **Keith** : According to all known laws of aviation,

  


  there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

  


   Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

  


  The bee, of course, flies anyway

 

   because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.

 **Papa_Caliente** : BABY WHAT THE FUCK

 **Keith** : Yes sweetie is there something wrong?

 **Techsexual** : *gif message: ya like jazz?*

 **Hunka-hunka** : greetINGSZ

 **Hunka-hunka** : I’ve been bUSY WHOOPS

 **Techsexual** : I KNOW

 **Techsexual** : you’ve been gone for a week or so

 **DesignatedSpaceDad** : Oh

 **DesignatedSpaceDad** : Hi

 **Keith** : Oooo

 **Papa_Caliente** : THE DEMON TOILET IS AT IT AGAIN

 **Papa_Caliente** : KEITH SAVE ME

 **Hunka-hunka** : si

 

         im doing it big my guys

 

         b u s y f u c k b o y b a c k a t i t a g a i n

 **DesignatedSpaceDad** : Wat

 **Techsexual** : I just got done being busy

 **Keith** : That toilet can eat your ass rn and I wouldn’t care

 **Techsexual** : I had to write a 14 page report

 **Keith** : Rip lance

 **Techsexual** : Bless

 **Papa_Caliente** : BABE

 **Papa_Caliente** : I WANT A DIVORCE

 **Techsexual** : *lenny face*

 **Techsexual** : Eat the ass

 **Keith** : I love you

 **Keith** : I can’t believe lance is fucking dead now

 **Keith** : *sobs*

 **Papa_Caliente** : IM NOWHERE NEAR THE DAMN TOILET

 **Keith** : Do you hear something?

 **Keith** : Oh god

 **Techsexual** : Sometimes

 **Techsexual** : We can still hear his voice

 **Papa_Caliente** : You guys suck

 **Keith** : *sobs* my poor poor wife

 **Techsexual** : No

 **Techsexual** : You do

 **Techsexual** : According to Keith

 **Keith** : You right

 **Papa_Caliente** : HA YOU ACKNOWLEDGED ME

 **Papa_Caliente** : EAT MY DICK

 **Techsexual** : Um

 **Keith** : ok~

 **Techsexual** : I think that’s a job for Keith

 **Techsexual** : As you can see

 **Techsexual** : He’s very willing

 **Keith** : Lol

 **Keith** : Wtf even is this

 **Keith** : XD

 **DesignatedSpaceDad** : Uhhhh

 **Techsexual** : You know those fanfictions where they make the kik chat

 **Techsexual** : It’s that

 **Papa_Caliente** : YES IT IS

 **Techsexual** : That’s legit why I got Kik ngl

 **Papa_Caliente** : IM DOING IT AGAIN

 **Techsexual** : YES

 **DesignatedSpaceDad** : Oh no

 **DesignatedSpaceDad** : Rip

 **Keith** : Rest in shit

 **Papa_Caliente** : KEITH NICOLE

 **Keith** : REST IN SHIT LANCE

 **DesignatedSpaceDad** : That’s a way of saying it

 **Papa_Caliente** : YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH

 **Techsexual** : Tf

 **Techsexual** : Don’t treat your lover that way

 **Keith** : FUCK YOU

 **Papa_Caliente** : FUCK YOU

 **Techsexual** : I‘m sure he’d gladly agree

 **Keith** : Please

 **Techsexual** : Tf do you guys fuck sideways

 **Papa_Caliente** : *lenny face*

 **DesignatedSpaceDad** : Do we really need this information

 **Keith** : *four lenny faces*

 **Techsexual** : @roll do they fuck sideways

 **Roll** : Sorry not sorry tho…

 **Roll** : Yas

 **Techsexual** : It has spoken

 **Papa_Caliente** : THE MIGHTY ROLL HAS SPOKEN

 **Hunka-hunka** : @roll will I ever wake up inside

 **Roll** : That’s an easy one…

 **Roll** : NO

 **DesignatedSpaceDad** : Rip

 **Techsexual** : Rip

 **Papa_Caliente** : Rip

 **DesignatedSpaceDad** : I’m internally screaming every second


End file.
